why is it so damn difficult for you to just let me be happyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy 

Ukrainian nationalists upset me. For many reasons. There’s nothing wrong with having pride in your country but honestly, what the hell does Ukraine have to be proud of? Being Europe’s biggest source of human-trafficking? Being a country where you can literally buy a license for anything? All of my female relatives are scared to have children because of how unsafe it is now. Why does a country with such good fertile soil have to buy buckwheat from China? And potatoes and meats from Poland? Why can politicians threaten small private businesses unless they vote for them? I love Ukraine, it being my birth place and all. My childhood there was wonderful while it lasted. But had I stayed I would have grown up with no future. All my friends from there who’s parents weren’t able to leave have grown up into smokers, drug-abusers, robbers, and many other terrible things. I would do anything to fix it. To become someone with enough political influence to change it. But how can I do that when other Ukrainians are protecting their country “just because”. You need to admit mistakes to fix them.　

“You like to be spoilt, kissed and when a partner rubs your body. You can flame off of just a single touch on your knee or hand, but it does not mean that you can be easily seduced. You can control your passions and you do not allow yourself to relax. You are a continent lover, because when someone leaves you, you never cry. Just because of that others can think that you are thick-skinned, however actually you have a delicate and vulnerable soul.”

I absolutely need to make it to first period tomorrow. And then I’m going to a legit Japanese ramen place with Amy, Allen, and Justin. And hopefully after I’ll be able to just sleep the second I get home because I’m so tired. The only present I’m happy with other than my mom’s is my friend Ariel’s. He got me the book I really wanted but I won’t be able to read it for some time because I’m still not done with Atlas Shrugged. For the next 12 days I need to make good decisions, draw and paint at least two of those days, do all my homework, and read as much as possible. I guess I can proudly declare today as the beginning of my life.

Man, I don’t want to go to drinking parties :\ I rather be at my favorite tea shop and read.

I need time away from you. I need to realize that it’s very possible that being friends for 8 years means absolutely nothing to you and that I no longer matter. I need to get rid of whatever it is that’s giving me hope that you’ll change back. 

I’m not exactly sure why but the phrase “I’m only human” just irritates me so much. Not only is it a shitty excuse for some mistake you might have made but what do you even mean by being only human? There’s no creature on earth more intelligent and admiring and yet you choose to degrade yourself like this? Just what the hell.  

The best birthday present you could give me is to stop taking everything I love away from me.